About This Novena
Marriage is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church — a covenant between a man and woman, and, in the sacramental understanding, an image of Christ's covenant with his Church (Ephesians 5:25–32). That does not make marriage painless or easy. It means that the difficulties of marriage are, at their deepest level, opportunities for grace — though this can be profoundly hard to see when you are inside them.
This novena is for marriages under pressure — marriages experiencing distance, broken trust, communication failure, emotional coldness, crisis after an affair, or simply the long wearing-down of years without renewal. It can be prayed by one spouse alone or by both together. It can be prayed during a crisis or as a regular devotional practice.
Nine days of persistent prayer does not guarantee a specific outcome. It does deepen the disposition of both prayer and surrender in the one who prays — and it opens the marriage to a grace it cannot generate on its own.
Last reviewed: April 2026. Sources: Sacred Scripture (RSV-CE); Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Saints Invoked in This Novena
St. Joseph and Mary, Most Holy: Invoked for the healing of any family Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin: Parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux; beatified as a married couple in 2008, canonized in 2015 — the first married couple canonized together in modern times; patron of married couples St. Monica: Invoked for persistent prayer for a spouse or marriage in difficulty
Opening Prayer (Pray Each Day)
Lord Jesus, you were present at the wedding at Cana and transformed water into wine when the supply ran out. Look on my marriage now — where what seemed sufficient has run dry, where what was once life-giving has become diminished. I believe you can transform what is broken into something greater than it was before. I bring this marriage to you — all of it: the love that is still present and the wounds that have accumulated. Do not let what you joined together be destroyed. I ask this through your mercy. Amen.
Holy Family — Jesus, Mary, and Joseph — pray for us.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 1 — The Covenant You Made
Scripture: "So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." — Matthew 19:6
Reflection: Marriage in the Catholic faith is not primarily a human contract that parties can revoke when it becomes unfulfilling. It is a covenant — a total self-gift, in the image of God's own covenant with humanity. Jesus's words are both a statement and an invitation: what God has joined, he is also willing to preserve, restore, and deepen.
Today's prayer begins by returning to that covenant — not to weaponize it against a struggling spouse, but to place the marriage itself in God's hands. You did not make this covenant alone, and you cannot repair it alone.
Prayer:
Lord, I made a promise. On that day I intended to keep it, and I still intend to keep it — even though the keeping is much harder than I imagined. I ask you today to remind me of what this covenant means and to give me the grace to honor it not through duty alone but through a love renewed by your Spirit. What you have joined, please hold. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 2 — For Healing of Wounds
Scripture: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." — Ephesians 4:32
Reflection: Every marriage that has lasted any length of time carries wounds — things said that could not be unsaid, failures of care, moments of selfishness or cruelty that left marks. The accumulation of small wounds over years can be more damaging to a marriage than a single dramatic crisis.
Today's prayer is for the healing of specific wounds — yours and your spouse's. Not the generic asking for a "better marriage," but the honest naming of the injuries that have not yet healed.
Prayer:
Lord, I name before you today the specific wounds in my marriage. Speak them honestly: broken trust, harsh words, withdrawal, neglect, betrayal, indifference. I ask for healing — not merely covering over of the wound, but genuine restoration. I also ask for the courage to acknowledge my own contribution to what has been hurt. Where I have wounded my spouse, give me the grace to seek forgiveness. Where I have been wounded, give me the grace to begin to forgive. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 3 — For the Gift of Hearing
Scripture: "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." — James 1:19
Reflection: Most marriage communication problems are not primarily speaking problems — they are hearing problems. Both spouses may be speaking, but neither is truly receiving what the other is communicating. The breakdown comes not only in what is said but in whether the other person feels heard.
Today's prayer asks for a specific, concrete grace: the ability to hear your spouse — to listen without formulating a defense, to receive what they are trying to communicate even when it arrives imperfectly.
Prayer:
Lord, teach me to hear my spouse. Not just the words, but what is underneath them — the fear, the unmet need, the longing for connection. I confess that I often prepare my response before the other person has finished speaking. I often hear criticism where perhaps only pain was being expressed. Give me the grace to slow down, to listen with genuine attention, and to respond to what was actually said rather than what I feared was meant. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 4 — For Courage to Stay
Scripture: "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful." — 1 Corinthians 13:4–5
Reflection: The famous love passage of 1 Corinthians 13 is often read at weddings when both spouses feel full of generous love. Read it again in the middle of a difficult marriage — when love has become effortful, when patience is exhausted — and it looks different. It is a description of what love is designed to become: not the feeling of a good day but the choice of many hard days.
Today's prayer asks for the courage to continue — to stay present to the marriage, to the person, to the covenant, even when staying is work.
Prayer:
Lord, staying in this marriage is harder today than I imagined it would be. I ask for the courage to stay — not as a passive endurance but as an active choice. Where my love has become thin, deepen it. Where I have been impatient, give me patience. Where I have been resentful, begin the work of freeing me from that resentment. Let my staying be an act of faith as well as faithfulness. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 5 — For Your Spouse
Scripture: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." — Ephesians 5:25
(Both spouses may adapt: "Love your spouse as Christ loved the Church.")
Reflection: Today's prayer shifts the focus: instead of praying for your own needs and your own healing, pray specifically for your spouse — for what they are carrying, for what they need, for the ways they may be struggling that you cannot fully see.
This is often the most difficult day of the novena for couples in conflict. When a marriage is painful, praying for the other person's wellbeing can feel counterintuitive. Do it anyway. This act of intercession is often one of the quiet movements that begins to reorient the heart toward the other.
Prayer:
Lord, today I pray for my spouse. Not for what I want from them or for the changes I want to see in them. I pray for them — for what they are carrying, for what they fear, for what they need from you that I cannot provide. Give them your consolation. Give them courage where they are afraid. Give them peace where they are troubled. Let them know today that they are loved — by you, and by me, imperfectly but truly. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 6 — After Betrayal or Broken Trust
Scripture: "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." — Matthew 6:14
Reflection: This day is for marriages where the wound is acute: a betrayal, an affair, a serious breach of trust. Not all marriages in crisis are here, but some are, and this novena should not skip past the hardest cases.
Forgiveness in the Catholic tradition is not the same as immediate reconciliation, and it is not the same as minimizing what was done. It is the decision to release the claim on revenge — to stop requiring that the other person pay indefinitely. It is a process, not a single moment, and it is not possible without grace.
Prayer:
Lord, I bring before you the specific betrayal that has broken my marriage's trust. Name it, as honestly as you can. I cannot forgive this on my own. I do not have sufficient goodwill or sufficient love remaining to do what forgiveness requires. I ask you for supernatural grace — the grace that made it possible for martyrs to forgive their killers, for the wronged to release the debt, for love to survive what it should not have survived. Begin that work in me. I cannot do it alone. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 7 — For What Has Been Good
Scripture: "Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." — Philippians 4:8
Reflection: In the middle of a marriage crisis, the tendency is for the mind to run through all the evidence for the worst-case narrative. Today's prayer is a deliberate redirection: to call to mind what has been genuinely good in this marriage.
This is not denial of the present pain. It is the refusal to allow the present pain to be the only story. A marriage that has had genuine goodness in it — shared faith, children raised, hard years weathered together, moments of real joy — carries that goodness as part of its real history, not erased by the present crisis.
Prayer:
Lord, I call to mind today what has been genuinely good in my marriage. Name it: the children born, the years weathered together, the moments of real connection, the shared faith, the times they showed up for me. I offer that goodness to you as evidence that this marriage has had real life in it. Do not let that life be entirely consumed by the present pain. Remind me — and remind my spouse — of what we have built, what we have shared, what has been real between us. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 8 — For Wisdom About Next Steps
Scripture: "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." — James 1:5
Reflection: Marriages in crisis often face real practical decisions: whether to seek counseling, whether to separate temporarily, whether to pursue an annulment process, whether to involve a priest or spiritual director, whether to tell family members. These decisions require wisdom — not just good intentions.
Today's prayer asks for practical wisdom: the clarity to know what action is needed, the courage to take it, and the humility to seek help from those qualified to give it.
Prayer:
Lord, I need wisdom for what comes next. I do not know whether to name the specific decision weighing on you. I ask you to guide me clearly. Give me the courage to seek help — from a Catholic counselor, from our priest, from a trusted spiritual director. Give me the humility to acknowledge what I cannot fix on my own. Let the next step become clear, and give me the courage to take it. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Day 9 — Into God's Hands
Scripture: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." — Psalm 37:5
Reflection: Nine days of prayer for a marriage does not guarantee a specific outcome. God does not overrule human freedom — his work in a marriage requires the cooperation of both spouses, and he will not force a transformation on an unwilling heart. What prayer does is open the marriage to a grace that is available but must be received.
Today's prayer is a release — a genuine entrusting of the marriage to God, with its outcome unknown, with the trust that whatever comes, he is able to work within it.
Prayer:
Lord, I have prayed these nine days for my marriage. I release it into your hands — the whole of it: the history, the wounds, the love, the doubt, the uncertainty about what comes next. I do not know how you will answer. I trust that you have heard, and that nothing brought to you in faith is lost. Let your will be done in this marriage — not my preferred version of your will, but your actual, complete, and merciful will. I trust you. Amen.
Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us.
Holy Family — Jesus, Mary, and Joseph — pray for us.
Closing Prayer
God of every covenant, you created marriage as a sign of your own love for the world. I have brought this marriage before you for nine days. I do not know yet how you will answer. But I believe that this marriage, however broken, is not beyond your capacity to transform. Whether the work ahead involves healing, rebuilding, or another path, let me walk it with faith and not despair. Give my spouse and me the grace we each need. And whatever comes, let us be found faithful — to you, to each other, and to what we promised when we were young. Amen.
When a Marriage Needs More Than Prayer
This novena is a spiritual support for marriage in difficulty. It is not a substitute for professional help.
Marriage counseling: A qualified Catholic counselor who works within the tradition can address the practical communication and relational dynamics that prayer alone may not resolve. Ask your diocese, Catholic Charities, or your parish for a referral.
Priest or spiritual director: A priest familiar with marriage ministry can offer sacramental support (Reconciliation is particularly relevant), pastoral accompaniment, and guidance about annulment processes if that becomes relevant.
Retrouvaille: A worldwide Catholic program specifically for marriages in crisis. Available in many countries. Designed for marriages that are struggling or feel beyond repair. Verify current availability in your country at the Retrouvaille website.
Note: If your marriage involves domestic violence, abuse, or serious safety concerns, please contact appropriate help immediately. The Church does not require spouses to remain in physically or emotionally dangerous situations. Your local Catholic Charities or domestic violence hotline can help.
Urgent support:
- United States: National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-7233
- United Kingdom: National Domestic Abuse Helpline — 0808 2000 247
- Canada: ShelterSafe.ca for shelter directories
- Australia: 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732
Please verify current availability in your country.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I pray this novena if my spouse does not know I am praying it?
Yes. One spouse praying a novena for the marriage is entirely valid. Much of the history of Catholic intercessory prayer involves one person bringing a situation before God on behalf of another who is not praying, not aware, or not willing.
What if my marriage is beyond saving?
Even marriages that ultimately end hold the memory of a covenant that God witnessed. If a marriage cannot be saved — due to abuse, irretrievable breakdown, or the refusal of a spouse to engage — the prayer you have offered is not wasted. It may work in ways you cannot see: softening hearts, clarifying next steps, providing consolation during the separation, or opening a path toward eventual healing even across legal separation.
What is the annulment process?
An annulment (formally: a declaration of nullity) is the Church's finding that a valid sacramental marriage did not exist from the beginning — typically because one or both parties lacked full capacity or freedom to consent. It is not a "Catholic divorce." It is a legal and pastoral process that typically involves a tribunal review and takes several months to a year or more. Speak with your parish priest for guidance about beginning the process. Annulment does not mean the children of the marriage are illegitimate.
Sources Used on This Page
- Sacred Scripture: RSV-CE
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, nos. 1601–1666 (the sacrament of matrimony)
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1640 (indissolubility of marriage)
- Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin: canonized by Pope Francis, October 18, 2015; feast day July 12
- Ephesians 5:21–33 (the theology of Christian marriage)
Related Guidance
- Catholic Guidance for Marriage in Crisis — the full issue page
- Catholic Guidance for Infidelity and Broken Trust — when trust has been violated
- Catholic Guidance for Communication Problems in Marriage — practical and pastoral steps
- Catholic Prayer for Marriage — a short prayer for right now
- Catholic Guidance for Forgiving Someone Who Hurt You — when forgiveness is the work